GODDAMN THAT FELT GOOD. I got to serve Erica this morning. In person. First, surprise. Then, confusion. Then shock. Then resignation. Then contempt. It was better than any sunrise I’ve ever seen. The look on her face was the most … Continued
It’s funny how the human brain works. My entire life, any time I’ve ever been really pissed off, anger has always worked the same way; the more time that passes, the less intense anger feels. Sometimes, it takes a long … Continued
The response from the Polyam/ENM community to my post in the poly group a couple days ago was absolutely insane. I have never felt more seen, supported or validated. Throughout this process, I have spent a lot of time reflecting, … Continued
Hoo boy. Yesterday is a lot to unpack. Night before last, I had the same problem I always have – fall asleep, and wake up a few minutes later, fully “activated” (thanks, Erica, I’ll never get THAT fucking word out … Continued
As I continue to pour through our old texts and conversations, I am experiencing both rage and a profound sadness. I have these moments where I fluctuate between missing her so completely that I feel utter despair at knowing I … Continued
Over the past couple days, I have had some long, deep conversations with my wife about the past 3 years, 8 months and 8 days since I met Erica. Shawna and I have had long conversations about how much and … Continued
Erica Van Driel and I met on PoF – she messaged me – and her username was “PopcornForDinner”. She had no profile photo and no information, so I was leery of her, and was very cautious. We chatted a bit, … Continued
Figuring out how to edit and post video and audio. Thought I’d start with this. (The links below are audio files) I am being painted as a villain because I am constantly searching for the truth. I’m perpetually trying to … Continued
I went to see my therapist today. I almost didn’t go. As someone who has seen just how dysfunctional, abusive and fundamentally broken a professional advice giver who has made it their life’s work to tell other people how to … Continued