I can’t help but let my mind wander sometimes… In the quiet moments when it’s just me and my thoughts, I find myself wondering about Erica, her peers and the people that support her. Are they ok with the fact that she is – in what most people consider to be – a rapist? In particular, her therapist friends here in Nanaimo, and her schoolmates in Vancouver, who she trained with and now share the same profession as her. People that I assume know what sexual assault is.
She even admitted in a text that she had authority and power over me.
Does she hide this blog from them, in an effort to control the narrative and keep her friends from knowing what she did? That she sexually assaulted me while I was high on Tridural and Tramadol with a broken pelvis, collarbone and ribs? Does she tell them how she used my childhood traumas and the death of my father a week earlier to manipulate me into thinking I was being loved and cared for? Does she tell everyone stories that fit her narrative about how awful I am to her, but leave out the awful, hurtful things she did to me? That she used me, gaslit me and manipulated me, lied to me and cheated on me while we were together?
Does she tell her friends about how she went to Comox to visit and have coffee with Ross, a “childhood friend”, but really, she lied so she could go have sex with him? At least, she would have, but Ross wasn’t able to get it up, so “nothing ended up happening” – like that somehow made it all ok. Does she tell them how the ONLY reason I know about it is because she slipped up and I found but by accident?
I wonder if she tells her friends how I tried to end things back then, and MANY times in between, but she always found a way to manipulate me into believing that it was all just a mistake, and that she truly cared about me, and wanted me in her life. Does she tell them how whenever I tried to take space, she would phone me multiple times, text repeatedly, or show up at my door, and refused to leave until I came and talked to her? Or does she JUST stick to the parts of the story that make me look bad?
Does she tell how she didn’t give me space or wait for me. The day after the above text exchange, she showed up at my house with a sob story about wanting to make it right, explain herself, defend herself and fix things. Really, it was just an opportunity for her to tell more lies, diffuse me and manipulate me into hitting the reset button so she could do it all again.
Does she tell them how she promised my 10 year old son that she would come to his final playoff football game on a PROPER field, but decided that going to Vancouver to have sex with Wil (A guy who beat her at her own game and ghosted her after her got what he wanted from between her legs) and spending the weekend doing god knows what with him and his friends.
Does she say “yeah, I broke my promise to a 10 year old that had him upset for a week, and he STILL talks about? I created this “special bond” with the little fat kid that I saw myself in, and then did to him the exact same thing I constantly accused my dad of doing to me and found something I’d rather do than show up”? Enough that he absolutely despises her even more than I do, because he sees that she projected all her own fat shame and dysfunction onto him?
Like – Erica – he REALLY hates you. Not because of anything I told him. My son fucking hates you because he sees who you are, and what you are. And how you used him as a prop. He’s destroyed everything you’ve ever given him.
Does she tell the WHOLE story? That she breached client confidentiality by sharing with me personal details about her female clients who work at NRGH, and in what department? Does she hide all of that from her supporters, and her new source, Dylan? (Or maybe it’s Dillon, who knows. I just call him the new source, so.. Hi, New Source!) Does she use HIS kids as props, too?
Has she come clean to her clients and told them that she betrayed her client confidentiality agreement and disregarded informed consent and told me their stories and gossiped about them during pillow talk? Or did she just pretend it never happened and ran away from that responsibility, too?
Does she hide from them that she’s a sexual assault and trauma therapist who sexually assaulted someone, then spent three years traumatizing them, over and over, because it was her favorite dopamine hit? Does she hide this blog from her parents to keep them from knowing the truth about who she is and what she’s done? Has she convinced them that *I* am the monster who is trying to destroy her, instead of telling them that he’s telling EVERYONE the truth? Does she take any accountability and own any part of what she’s done?
Of course not. That’s not how narcissists operate.
I have to wonder if those who support her support and condone the things she did? Are they ok with her climbing on top of me to have sex with me a few days after my dad died, while I was an emotional and physical wreck, high on drugs with a body full of broken bones? Are they ok with her actions? Do they hug her and tell her how awful it must have been, and say really validating therapist things to her?
Do they hold her accountable in any way or say “what you did was wrong?”
I’m curious how she spun the truth to paint herself as the victim. I’m curious how the new source is being manipulated like I was when she kicked her Fiance out because he was cramping her style. Does she tell him how much she needs to be held, and how much she needs him to “help her regulate” because her “nervous system is on fire” because the bad man “activated her” when she saw his truck drive by? Does she whine to him about how hard her life of incredible privilege, having to work for 6 hours three days a week to pay for half a mortgage is? Does he comfort her while she cries about how unfair life is because it interferes with her desire to travel the world and do whatever she wants, whenever she wants, with no responsibilities?
Yeah, I didn’t think so.
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