As I continue to pour through our old texts and conversations, I am experiencing both rage and a profound sadness. I have these moments where I fluctuate between missing her so completely that I feel utter despair at knowing I … Continued
Over the past couple days, I have had some long, deep conversations with my wife about the past 3 years, 8 months and 8 days since I met Erica. Shawna and I have had long conversations about how much and … Continued
Someone asked me today what I would say to her if I had two minutes to stand in front of her on a deserted sandbar in the middle of the ocean, where neither of us could escape. If we HAD … Continued
Erica Van Driel and I met on PoF – she messaged me – and her username was “PopcornForDinner”. She had no profile photo and no information, so I was leery of her, and was very cautious. We chatted a bit, … Continued
Figuring out how to edit and post video and audio. Thought I’d start with this. (The links below are audio files) I am being painted as a villain because I am constantly searching for the truth. I’m perpetually trying to … Continued
I went to see my therapist today. I almost didn’t go. As someone who has seen just how dysfunctional, abusive and fundamentally broken a professional advice giver who has made it their life’s work to tell other people how to … Continued
I hate that it ended like this. I hate that the solution was so simple. I hate that neither of us could find it. I hate that she lied all the time. I hate that that made trusting and … Continued
Last Monday, (April 10th) she invited me over to her house after yoga, wanting me to spend the night. 2023-04-10, 12:18 p.m. – E: Depending on how the rest of today goes with work and whatnot, and how you’re feeling later, … Continued
By now, there’s more than a few people out there who think I am the epitome of evil and that I’m a monster of the most heinous kind. That they didn’t see me for who I was all along, and … Continued
As I woke up this morning, I felt my body flood with adrenaline and become activated as my brain did a full inventory of this new reality that is my life. “She’s gone.” I feel panic, disgust, sadness, anger, hurt, … Continued